Escaping the cycle of indecision

Why making decisions is hard and what to do about it

There are two types of people in this world: indecisive people and decisive people.

Indecisive people have difficulty making decisions, second-guess themselves, and procrastinate when it comes to making decisions.

Decisive people, on the other hand, make up their minds, back themselves, and commit to following through with their decisions.

So, what sets these two types of people apart? The fear of regret.

Indecisive people fear making the “wrong” decision, so they plan, research, and analyse every detail before making a decision. They believe that making the “right” decision will lead to the right outcome, so they focus on minimising as much regret as possible.

Decisive people, however, understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” decision. They know that the outcome of a decision depends on what is done after the decision is made, not before. Therefore, the emphasis is on how much commitment is put into making the decision work, not the decision itself.

“More is lost by indecision than wrong decision.” — Marcus Tullius Cicero

The truth is, any decision can be made to work. Making a decision (any decision) and committing to it increases the likelihood of a favourable outcome. When there is no concept of “right” or “wrong”, we are more dedicated to making whatever we choose work. And even if it doesn’t work, we can pivot to another decision (because we are decisive about that too).

On the other hand, if you assume that the decision you make correlates with the outcome, you are more likely to delay making it. For example, doing more research, talking to more people, and gathering more information in order to make the “right” decision means there is a lot of pressure on it; the likelihood of a favourable outcome is now lower—not because of the decision you make, but because of the indecision and lack of commitment that precedes it.

So, how can we be more decisive?

By being aware of why we are indecisive in the first place. Do we really need more time, information, or resources? (because that may be the case). Or are we really just afraid of regret?

When we understand that there is no “right” or “wrong” decision, the fear of regret diminishes. Additionally, we can only tell in hindsight whether a decision was good or bad for us anyway…so why delay the process of finding out?

The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.

— Alan Watts